Have you ever received an insincere apology? Hmmmm, okay for those who answered yes, what are you suppose to do with it? I mean really, someone calls you to say I'm sorry, without the slightest bit of emotion or sincerity; do you accept the apology or hangup the phone on them.
Of course you don't hang up on them, right? This is a good place to recite the "Serenity Prayer" ~ The Serenity Prayer goes like this -- God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
I have lived long enough to learn how to accept the things I cannot change. Insincere apologies are beyond my control. I accept the sorry, not sorry and keep it pushing. No, I don't hang up the phone on the person. That would not be considered accepting, instead it would be more of, an emotional reaction. Let's be clear, my acceptance of the apology is not for the other person, it's for my peace.
The key to accepting an insincere apology is, staying true to yourself. in how you respond. Therefore at times we must accept the apology for what it is; and release the person in love. Does this mean releasing them from your life? Not necessarily, but it does mean releasing the apology, from your mind. Remember this, people do not have to apologize and many don't.
Yes, the bible tell us to "forgive" and I believe that we should. Yet, forgiveness is a choice. There are various ways to apologize, and depending on the person asking to be forgiven, it may be done via words, actions, or both. Whatever the case may be, honesty and sincerity, is what makes the apology valid.
There is a case were "sorry, not sorry," is a valid and sincere apology. Recently, I told a good friend that she had me worried, when I couldn't reach her. Her response was profound, "sorry that you allowed yourself to feel that way." Take a moment and re-read that response. Initially, I thought she was apologizing, but she really wasn't.
In actuality, she was stating that sorry, you allowed yourself to go to the worry-zone. Nothing in that statement addressed the cause, of why I was worried. After marinating on that statement for a few, I realized that my decision to worry, was my choice. Why should an apology be necessary for a personal choice? Exactly, it shouldn't and that's when; "sorry, not sorry" is sincere and valid.
~One Love Diane