Messenger of Love

Updated: Mar 9, 2019

In Loving Memeory of Nate

Truly my life has offered several; "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not to your own understanding...." moments.

March 7, 2004 is the day my life was forever changed. See on that day I would become "Nana" for the very first time. The joy I felt when I received the call that baby Nate had arrived is beyond words. I lived on the West Coast at the time of Nate's birth and once I was informed that my daughter was in labor; I was on the first plane to Michigan.

Nate and I would meet for the first time in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Nate's heart was beating abnormally fast so he was being closely monitored. I was in love with Nate at first sight. I remember talking to my little grandson and telling him how excited I was that he'd finally arrived.

The decision to move Nate to Children's Hospital's Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, was the first sign that his condition was more involved than we initially thought. The diagnosis was Vein of Galen Malformation the prognosis was grim due to Nate being a newborn. I was so grateful to be there by my daughters side as she processed the news. I was also thankful that my mom could be there by my side.

Things are not always as they appear because although Nate was the healthiest looking baby in the Intensive Care Unit, he was actually the sickest baby in the unit. Tammy, Nate's nurse was AMAZING, she made sure that we were all well informed on Nate's condition.

Nate was a fighter, however once the procedure to place a shunt was unsuccessful, he was unable to be taken off the life-support machine. Prior to the procedure we were told that could be a risk. During the entire process, I was mom/nana first and critical care nurse secondly. My advice to my daughter was to advocate for Nate's well being and to make the best decision that gave her peace.

On March 15th 2004, the decision to remove the life-support machine was made by my daughter and son in law. Once again Tammy was awesome during the process. My sister's and nephews all came to say their good-byes. Prior to removing the life-support we we each held Nate. I still recall how Nate held onto my thumb, as if he was telling me, it's ok nana.

Nathan means "Gift from God" Our baby Nate was indeed a gift and messenger of love. Nate's love radiated throughout that whole unit and every staff/family member was touched by it. We will forever remember our baby Nate, and give thanks for the precious 8 days we spent with him here on earth.

Holding Nate



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