Askhole...


Day 22

An askhole is basically a person who asks for your opinion or advice, yet never uses your advice and does the opposite of what you said to do. Askholes sometimes ask questions for the sake of asking questions or making conversation. They zone out when you supply an answer, and they always end up doing their own thing. (According to Goggle Search)



The first time i saw the word askhole, was as a caption on a picture. Surely this could not be a word, I thought. Alas, a quick Google search revealed the above explanation for askhole. I was stunned to find such a term existed. Upon reflecting on the word, I know several people that fit that description.


Many believe if you can name a thing, that will help you better understand and deal with it. I personally agree that identifying a thing does help. Here's the thing, when someone is constantly calling you "to pick your brain" that can be draining. Seriously, think about a person you know, that calls you for advice, keeps you on the phone way beyond what should be allowed; then just unplugs with an abrupt, "ok, thanks talk to you later."


After the call is over, you need a nap followed by an energy drink. You are simply, emotionally and physically drained. It get's to the point that when you see the name of an "askhole" on your caller ID, you want to ignore the call and sometimes you actually do and allow it to go to voicemail. The thing here is, you may feel bad about not picking up the phone. I read a wonderful book a while back called "How Full is Your Bucket." This book talked about relationships and how people we interact with either fill or drain our buckets. I would highly recommend checking it out. http://www.tomrath.org/book/how-full-is-your-bucket/


When dealing with askholes you must address them directly and apply boundaries. Otherwise, you may lose the relationship, which may not necessarily be a bad thing. However, this only leave room for another askhole, to pop up and the cycle repeats. We must take control of the access gates to our emotional and physical being, as we interact with others.


Personally, I chose to share the Google explanation, with the askholes in my life. I also stop allowing myself to be bombarded with questions and draining conversations. At times I would plainly state, "you're being an askhole right now" (be sure to say that word slowly) ~winks

I realized that by making myself accessible to askholes, without setting boundaries: made me a part of the issue.


I'm sure over the course of our lives, we have all asked questions or advice and then choose to follow a different path. That's okay, because in many situations that discussion led you, to the answers within yourself. Also, there is a genuinely expression of appreciation and gratitude that is a part of the interaction.


My view is this, maybe I am not the right person to ask for advice, if you are only asking to "pick my brain" or just asking, for the sake of conversation. I love having intellectual discussions and respectful debates. Talking just for the sake of speaking and answering questions without purpose, are things I chose not to engage in.


There is no advice or suggestions here, only peace and love to you. Proverbs 4:23 instructs us to guard our hearts....


Thank you for reading ~OneLove Diane



Professor Woodford

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